Respect

I was in a meeting at work today, a meeting that wasn't planned and for which I had 30 minutes warning. The meeting was of a project team to discuss the progress of work on the large project, and to make sure we were on track, with appropriate resources (a.k.a. people) assigned, to meet a November 27 deadline. My role is to check the work (QC) before it goes out the door.

The meeting would have seemed more important if we hadn't already discussed this at length in a meeting on Monday. I suppose it was necessary since an engineer from another team was made available on a part-time basis, and so work could be redistributed.

At one point during the meeting, as we discussed some communications with the client, the team leader once again talked about the importance of the correct routing of communications, and how certain communications had to go through the team leader. After repeating what we all knew, he said, "I take that very personal as a matter of respect. No one's gonna go around me."

Now I don't know what you all think, but I figure if you have to asked for respect you probably haven't earned it. Respect is something you earn, not demand. Respect that is demanded is given grudgingly; it's not real respect. Respect that is earned is given willingly, and is not easily lost.

The same seems true for honesty. If you have to talk about how honest you are, you probably aren't. If you have to tell people you have a high ethical standard, you probably don't. I'm talking about unsolicited statements here. Occasionally you have to talk about those things because of a question asked. But normally, your actions should explain your honesty, integrity, and competence. Trust and respect flow from those.