Continuing with that quote from John Wesley's letter to Ann Granville, here is a shorter version of it:
“…I am afraid of nothing more than of growing old too soon, of having my body worn out before my soul is past childhood. Would it not be terrible to have the wheels of life stand still, when we had scarce started for the goal; before the work of the day was half done, to have the night come, wherein no one can work? I shiver at the thought of losing my strength before I have found [it]; to have my senses fail ere I have a stock of rational pleasures, my blood cold ere my heart is warmed with virtue!”
Wesley interestingly expresses concern about growing old in body, but not being mature in his mental development, of "having my body worn out before my soul is past childhood." This is something we all need to be concerned about. The body grows old as a natural process. Development of our soul (i.e. our intellect, our emotions, our spirit) is NOT a natural process. This is something we need to be deliberate about.
Of late I have been very concerned about my intellectual development. The result is that I have chosen reading material that I feel will improve my mind. I suppose one could say that all reading improves the mind, and I would agree with that in part. Obviously some things we could read will improve the mind more than others. I've also been concerned with advancing in my spiritual development. It seems that this goes in fits and starts. For a period I will be incredibly focused on the Bible, and study it with great intensity of mind and find myself growing. At other times, secular concerns crowd out Bible study, and stagnation develops. Maybe that is the way it will always be. Maybe intensive spiritual study for too long a period can be draining--exhausing--and I must back away until mind-improving activities of a lesser intensity have a chance to give my mind a rest.
At present, the Elijah and Elisha Bible study I'm doing is a great springboard for Bible study. First with a general reading and selection of items to present to the class, then in intense reading of the selected passages along with a couple of commentaries, and finally to preparing a handout for the class to have each week, I have found this study quite meaningful, and have felt my mind, soul, and spirit growing. We just finished the fourth lesson today. Six remain, with most of the intense study still ahead. I guess by the end of May I'll be ready for a breather.
But this part of the journey is certainly a joy.
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I continue to enjoy your reflections on past writers and thinkers...it is good to engage in dialogue (well a sort of dialogue) with them from time to time.
As to your insights on spiritual growth, I also think that you are quite right. There is some effort involved, which requires incorporation of various methods and some level of balance...they call them disciplines for a reason. I find, like you, that study for sermons and preparation for teaching are the most effective and fulfilling spiritual disciplines.
As to your earlier point of not making much impact in our world (Wesley's flying arrows)...this may have more to do with the fact that our "name" is not attached to much change, regardless of whether we participate in change or not. That is why so many invest such time and energy into their children and grandchildren - this, for many, seems to be their greatest gift and best opportunity to make an impact for future generations (also why it is so devistating when children or grandchildren choose a different path or make unwise choices.)
Yet in various ways, as we participate in the Body of Christ and the ministry of the Kingdom we are making an eternal impact - something Wesley should well have understood - it is our individualistic need for recognition that drives many to despair - or to a sense of meaninglessness. When we find our sense of meaning and purpose in the community of faith we can celebrate the impact that WE are making together.
Just some of my thoughts in response to Wesley...though I cannot deny that we often feel just what he is describing - and that was probably his point...to express his own feelings at a certain point in time...rather than communicating a framework for thinking about human life. I've digressed long enough...keep me thinking and keep writing. Blessings.
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